Monday, April 16, 2012

Monday Mourning

I was oogling babies in church yesterday.  It's something I do.  My husband or I will point one out, one of those itty bitties that makes you swoon, if you are that sort of person, and we will give each other a knowing smile.  Briefly, we'll run through the situation in our minds...and know that we are done.  We are.  I know it.  Four kids is really one more than I can handle :)  In all those pregnancies and newborn times, despite the fact that I was told over and over again how fast it goes, if felt like time sometimes stood still.  Sleepless nights, stretched out body,  stretched thin mind.  I never thought I'd find myself in mourning over the loss of it.  But, I do.  I'm sad that I won't have another baby.

After church my husband commented that our youngest needs some longer dresses.  She's growing out of 3T, but there are some clothes I can't let go of yet.  Three of our girls have worn them.  There are emotional ties.  Right after that, a friend mentioned how our daughter's grown (could it be the short dress?), how she doesn't have that baby face anymore.  This morning I was asked for a ponytail and for the first time since we cut her hair in the spring, I could do one.  And I saw it--the face of a little girl.

Boo hoo.

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