I was oogling babies in church yesterday. It's something I do. My husband or I will point one out, one of those itty bitties that makes you swoon, if you are that sort of person, and we will give each other a knowing smile. Briefly, we'll run through the situation in our minds...and know that we are done. We are. I know it. Four kids is really one more than I can handle :) In all those pregnancies and newborn times, despite the fact that I was told over and over again how fast it goes, if felt like time sometimes stood still. Sleepless nights, stretched out body, stretched thin mind. I never thought I'd find myself in mourning over the loss of it. But, I do. I'm sad that I won't have another baby.
After church my husband commented that our youngest needs some longer dresses. She's growing out of 3T, but there are some clothes I can't let go of yet. Three of our girls have worn them. There are emotional ties. Right after that, a friend mentioned how our daughter's grown (could it be the short dress?), how she doesn't have that baby face anymore. This morning I was asked for a ponytail and for the first time since we cut her hair in the spring, I could do one. And I saw it--the face of a little girl.