Monday, September 26, 2011

About Me

When I've tried to fill in the little section on this blog ascribed to being about me, it's difficult to find the words.  I'm a bit of a muddle.  I don't exactly know where I'm going.  A few years ago, I had a very clear view.  My third child was coming out of her baby phase when it hit me---some day my kids would all go to school--I would have days to myself!  I could work!  And I knew I wanted to work with photography.

Well, I took a business start-up seminar, built a 5 year plan, and started brain storming.  I was excited!  Motivated!  On my way!  And then something surprising happened...I found out I was pregnant.  With number four.  My beautiful, inquisitive, lovely baby girl.

Another baby meant we needed more space, and so we undertook a addition/renovation...and more debt.  Now, here I am, with everything to be thankful for--healthy kids, hubby I love, and a 'new' home.  Again, I am on the verge of watching my baby go off to preschool.  Yet, I find myself no longer eager or excited.  I find myself scared.  I just don't know where I go from here.

So, I guess this blog is like some sort of therapy for me.  An outlet for my thoughts, ideas, my pictures.  A way to feel like I'm doing something proactive, being true to the calling in my heart.  Part of me wants to think it's something for my kids, a record, a way of somehow knowing me and their childhood through me.  But mostly, I like the idea that nobody may ever really read it.  That it's a quiet little place out there for my thoughts to go and mingle.  And so I write, and photograph, and hope.

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