When I've tried to fill in the little section on this blog ascribed to being about me, it's difficult to find the words. I'm a bit of a muddle. I don't exactly know where I'm going. A few years ago, I had a very clear view. My third child was coming out of her baby phase when it hit me---some day my kids would all go to school--I would have days to myself! I could work! And I knew I wanted to work with photography.
Well, I took a business start-up seminar, built a 5 year plan, and started brain storming. I was excited! Motivated! On my way! And then something surprising happened...I found out I was pregnant. With number four. My beautiful, inquisitive, lovely baby girl.
Another baby meant we needed more space, and so we undertook a addition/renovation...and more debt. Now, here I am, with everything to be thankful for--healthy kids, hubby I love, and a 'new' home. Again, I am on the verge of watching my baby go off to preschool. Yet, I find myself no longer eager or excited. I find myself scared. I just don't know where I go from here.
So, I guess this blog is like some sort of therapy for me. An outlet for my thoughts, ideas, my pictures. A way to feel like I'm doing something proactive, being true to the calling in my heart. Part of me wants to think it's something for my kids, a record, a way of somehow knowing me and their childhood through me. But mostly, I like the idea that nobody may ever really read it. That it's a quiet little place out there for my thoughts to go and mingle. And so I write, and photograph, and hope.